her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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