We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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