love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
