yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
