I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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