sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
