I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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