i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
