I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
