I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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