due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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