how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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