i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
