Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
