Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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