I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
