drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
