I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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