You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
