I cockslap morals
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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