So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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