he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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