Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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