Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The power of my boobs compel you
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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