Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
