but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
