What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So squirting runs in the family.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
