I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize