i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Vodka?
Forever.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
