So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
