My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize