i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
