My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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