I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
