he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
