Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
