Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
