Don't make out with my wife yet
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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