My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
