Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
