I cockslap morals
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
