So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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