At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
