Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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