Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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