i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
my poor anus
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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