Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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