i just had sex bonerless
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
