Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.