We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.