If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
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it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
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I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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