forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.