WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel