Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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