So drunk its hurt
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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