took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
