Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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