So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
