btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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